Județean Cluj


Director fondator: Mircea Arman, 2015

Director fondator revista pe suport material: Ioan Slavici, 1884

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A Diplomatic Incident

A few stripes of Cardia, entire Aior with a K proudly marching ahead, half of Comosa, the under aged middle and the stormy end of the Parcatia Mountains, three thirds of Saraw and many others decided to gather at a secret meeting. It happened a few centimetres into Friday, afterwards Thursday was pushed into the chronological abyss, mercilessly. The infamous crime was committed when the iron ore slept deeply underground, tormented by endless nightmares, without the slightest idea of what is going on above, behind its back, or in any other direction. The diplomatic event was officially opened by the dance of a rusty can of beans and sausages drown into sugary, poisonous fats. A huge rat came out of the blue, attacking the innocent sausages, which started to run away in panic, screaming: “We are the musketeers defending our beloved princess, the Divine Canju, created at the beginning of time, two-headed – one long dark-haired, the other one medium brown – similarly vicious and mean. Don’t wash our tomato sauce without asking permission”.

Suddenly, they fell down and died, offended by being ordered to be served piping hot to a group of poor, disabled, shabby monks, chased away by the newest bill, infamously stipulating the right to move backwards, never forwards, nor aside. It was time then for the greatest speech of the human history, thoroughly disregarded by vegetation and wildlife, blatantly discriminated. Trying to maintain neutral, the sun ran away in panic, stumbling upon an insignificant crest, crushing the moon and a cohort of dwarf stars, during its fall. The entire world population got tanned in just one minute and five seconds. They all poured down on the streets, requesting that the new dress code after work should be the swimming suit with bra for all genders, willy-nilly. The Prefabs were called to assess the incident, appreciated for their stiff consistency and their unrivalled resistance to humidity and other meteorological factors.

In other words, they would never succumb through alteration or putrefaction, neither smashed by uncontrollable emotions, remaining consistent to themselves. Free sessions of aerobics were offered for those weighing over two hundred kilograms, dental whitening for the toothless, hairstyling for the hairless, child minding for the childless. And the list could fill two million plastic sacks lying motionless on the pavement. An unvarying euphoria spread across the world, propagating through the veins, intertwined and tied with a red ribbon at each end. It was breath-taking and absolutely superb to witness such a great moment of history, one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. The process called Translunar injection started, with peace and hope for all mankind.


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